Aspire to be a Leader | Reiner Lomb | Episode 236

On episode, two thirty six of the peak performance leadership podcast: we speak to author reiner long and he’s going to talk with the seven different emotional states and behaviors, which has gone to inspire and a spire you and your team to great heights. Are you ready for this one folks? Alright?

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Let’s do it

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welcome one! Welcome all to the peak performance leadership podcast, a weekly podcast series dedicated to helping you hit peak performance across the three domains of leadership, those being leading yourself, leading your team and leading your organization. This podcast

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cast couples my twenty years of military experience as a senior canadian army officer with world-class guess to bring you the most complete podcast of your ship, going in for more feel free to check out our website at moving forward leadership, dot com with that, let’s get to the show

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the yes, it is your chief leadership officer, scott richert. The end, thanks for coming out to the podcast so great, to have you here as always got a couple of announcements before we dive into today’s podcast

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last episode and the first one is a big one in that the if you’re following me in real time note, the website issue is almost resolved. Thank god and and honestly, thank you for your support, holy cow. I got people messaging me like john and letting me know, hey sorry,

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series or anything I could do so and so forth. I I truly appreciate you all who are out there and care enough to. You know even just say: hey sorry that sucks wish there was something I could do to help you, but nonetheless, you know what

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quick leadership lesson out of this whole fiasco will call it and as one you always need to

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have a plan. I I had a plan as soon as this occured to his you’ve got to look for the opportunity within the challenge and even talk about this in the upcoming episode and when the website crashed. I realized that well, there’s opportunity here is for me to rebuild it from the ground up and

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learn, and after I’ve learned so much and so much that you know, I could fix a lot of things that weren’t weren’t this not as a broken per se, but just not done that. Well and then I guess. The final thing is is that you know you gotta remain calm in

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the face of adversity. I could have lost my mind, but what good would have that on and think about the one, your own challenges as the leader that you face when you see big adversity, such as something as epic as a complete website crash, come to you

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if you’re, not calm, jacobi able to think straight and if can’t think straight, you’re not gonna, be able to overcome the challenge. That’s in front of you, so that’s my quick lessons learned per se out of this fiasco

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and it’s back up and running. We are at have probably around the eighty five per cent solution right now. I got a lot of things on the back and that we need to fix backup per se, but no doubt we’ll get there within the next week or two will be there and will be one hundred percent back up and running. So but again, thank you to all of you

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for your support, but has been fantastic. Alright, let’s dive into today’s episode, shall we and today we’re talking to author ryan, your loom german, by background, and he does have an accent on here which is fantastic because super excited. I love germany and soon will be visiting germany for work again

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in the near future. So it’s a great and my apologies reiner. If I still have not pronounce your name right away so who is he he’s? The executive coach he’s been around he’s worked for h, p. He works with leaders and change makers in huge range of organizations and multinational companies

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he’s got over thirty year career in tech and helped start it and developed software businesses and as well as lead their leadership development, twenty of which was at the company, hewlett packard, hewlett packard, which I’m pretty sure, you’ve probably heard of once or twice so.

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So. In this conversation, we talk about the different seven different leadership, behaviors emotional states, which tribe action and those being empathy, compassion, interest, optimism, inspiration, trust and positivity, and we talk about different topics such as know how to be empathetic,

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how you can be too empathetic had to be compassionate and how to be interesting and different ways. You can inspire others and then, finally, how you can breed positivity into your organization. So this is a great conversation and we go really deep. At one point I mean you know

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I won’t lie. I was starting to get tears in my eyes at one point in this conversation, so you definitely want to stick through this whole one to hear about one of his. We we trade stories, emotional stories, nerdy and and you’re going to want to hear them. So with that, I guess it’s time for you to sit back, relax enjoy

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oi my conversation with ryan malone alba how you can aspire to be a leader.

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Three

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riders are welcome to the peak performance, lose your podcast so good to have you here

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pleasure to leave a ceo scott, so today we’re here we’re talking about your book aspire where you get into basically a different characteristics and in such have you know, aspirational leadership and I guess out of the gate. What I’d like to know is: how did you come up with this list of snow

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seven in the first place? Why seven? Why those ones? Where did that even come from?

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That’s a that’s a wonderful question, so

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scientists said the search, ammo and emotional psychology. They still find new emotions all the time and and some of it you know different and cultural context, but they say you can say there’s over two hundred, maybe over two hundred fifty f and emotions, and as I have been I’ve been a leader myself. I have been building software businesses,

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stopping them and helping to call them into undead millions and even billion dollar businesses, and I’ve been coaching leaders and developing leaders, and so the the question for me that always came up. His leadership is for me to to come up this edition and aspirational vision and and influence people

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to change that behavior in order to make that vision a reality right. So it’s about behavior change, so I was looking about, but at that the essential leadership behaviors that allow a leader to create that type of change and that so, as I have been doing, innovation have been coaching people who

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I’ve been researching. I identified those seven emotional states that are most essential for driving the leadership behaviors to make that change a reality.

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Yet so change management obviously is absolutely huge as the leader because, as often say, the world’s ever evolving, it’s constantly changing heck. We get off this podcast and- and something could happen that cause a great change in the world today up so that list of seven emotional behaviors. You know what are what are they for, for the law

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are up there

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yeah. So I distinguish between the emotions that drive the behavior and and the leadership behavior itself. So let me explain them in and maybe influx of three so the foundation of the city almost like built. They built like a pyramid and in the book itself, but the three foundational, our empathy, compassion and interest empathy,

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the drives carrying a leader must care, otherwise that people will not trust the leader if the leader doesn’t she doesn’t care. You know that from from your military career

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compact, now caring is not enough right. Somebody might care and not do anything about it.

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On top of carrying a leader must commit to to to action to serve the people he or she is leading that takes compassion. Compassion, commits people to surf a leader to serve the third one. A leader must also understand what he is leading, but he’s about the issues. The challenge

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just coming up with solutions and innovation that overcome those issues and that’s why interest this good to get interest is the emotion that helps a leader to understand to not give up until the data really understands it’s more than curiosity. It’s it’s actually a more sustained interest in a topic to deeply understand it. So

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those three empathy, compassion, interest, triumph, caring commitment to serving and a deeper understanding, so that a leader can come up with a business aspiration. Elevation that overcomes those issues he’s dealing. He oh she’s, dealing with right now on top of that now was that was that foundational

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lita can create an aspiration, new future and eight invasion of an escalation of new future where those issues are overcome and and soft and the needs of the people. I met that takes optimism without optimism, leaders not able to see a future not even able to look into the future. I it’s so we have that very often we have

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looking backwards to live in the sentiment. I did try to to recreate the past I’d so, but you need to create a new future that takes optimism, but optimism is not enough that if you have a vision that aligns with the needs of the people, then you need to mobilise people and that takes inspiration, inspiration, tribes,

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that sustained commitment and sustained interest in people to do something to follow you to quick to make that vision a reality. Now when people are mobilized- and let’s say you have a startup or in the military, you have a group of people that you have a mission. You still need to coordinate effective actions, and that takes trust and trust.

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This is a very complex emotion as different dimensions of trust. You know. That’s the leader care. This is to lead. A competent, it is, is a reliable and et cetera, et cetera, so press the types of future collaboration without pressed with distress. Collaboration is not possible, but that’s the next three

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optimism, inspiration and trust. They triumph visioning, mobilization and cook collaboration. The last one is really a palette of emotions. It’s positivity it’s a palette of positive emotions. They might employ to joy optimism,

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gratitude, hopefulness, etc, etc. This whole range of positive emotions they try for the ciliates and who salient as important as you know. You might have a plan, you you you you you, everybody goes in the right direction and some something happens. This disrupts you and you need to change your plans. I

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and that’s where the syrians is necessary in order to overcome adversities award. Plaques us, you know, we’d, be happy experiences. Mr pandemic rev experience with the war in ukraine. Suddenly the economy is disrupted and everybody is scrambling, and so you need to be able to come up with a new plan. Division

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does not change. I’d division is still the same, but the the plan, how you get there that will change and that the chileans allows you to do that as leader.

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That’s a that’s an awesome list like I could see how one builds onto the next onto axe onto the next right and had to that final point. I think resilience. Subsidy know your final point, but resilience is spot on. It was interesting. I recently was doing a out of the advanced management program out of out of the: u

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navy. Actually I couldn’t find it down and we did it. We did it like when those self task type thing, and apparently

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I don’t have much and resilience for or adaptability, and I was like dude have a for ambiguous situations, and I was like what like this is. Where I live, it does what I do on a day to day basis, but upon further reflection and and speaking with the instructor of the day, I realized rica.

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Materialization is not that I I can deal with ambiguous or I’m not resilient, but rather I strive to clarify immediately

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that ambiguous and there that’s, where my resilience, that you came from. So as your speaker that that memory just pop back of my mind, I thought it was. It was very interesting up yeah, but back to your back to your list here, so empathy, compassion, interests, optimism, inspiration, trust, positivity, which of course, then rolls into resilience. Let’s

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talk a bit about empathy first, because I feel like this is a huge hot topic to stay in age. Are a lot of people talk about emotional intelligence which of course, empathy? He was a part of now the I guess, the pessimistic side of me or the critical person than me would say: well just work. You know

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why. Why do I need to be empathetic? He show up. I give you tasks, you do to tas, we all go home like I don’t need someone crying on my shoulder or anything of that like. Why is empathy even important, and for you like? Why should I even care about empathy how’s that going to inspire people

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yeah? It is it’s really him. This is a good question, because there’s there’s also an in in the media. We read about that. Empathy can become negative, not that it it lets, say the healthcare profession. If somebody is too empathetic and in too much caught up in the pain of of the person they assert

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irving, they cannot serve any more so so so. First of all, I have to say it needs to be balanced out me as a coach as well. I ideal that was was difficult situation. Where know I could somebody who goes to a hard time, I need to show empathy and I’m going to come to answer your question the minute, but that I I need to to to have empathy to

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put myself into the shoes of that person to understand the person what the person is feeling, but the person is thinking what the needs of what the person is going swore for that can help change the shift that person it’s emotional state, but the the empathy helps me to understand what emotional state the person is. I can feel

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the emotion just enough to know it and to care about the person if I, if I can, if I can feel that the person is feeling if I know what the person is feeling- and I find out that feeling that emotion- that the state that person’s in is not useful for what the person was to achieve again, motion strife,

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behavior and you can shift you can learn to shift your emotions. I can then help to shift that person to the emotional state. That is more useful. I’d like to give you an example. There are desolate outlet that call column check. He was a it was a senior executive and accompany reporting to the ceo of of of of the organization

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and and he at when, when we started coaching initially his boss. Also, he worked like seventeen hours a day like seven days a week, hart hart driver. The bus constantly complained about him, not doing enough, not being leader, okay, so

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so the person he he he he was. He was not aware for the mortal state he was in seoul. The first conversation with him. I tried to figure out what emotional state is he in and why he can he not lead okay, what is the issue and so on? And I found out that from the stories he told me, he couldn’t name

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his emotions that he wasn’t. The sentiment of resentment is the emotional victim hood, and that was understandable because he he fell a victim of the behavior of the his boss. That count constantly ask him. He is not leading enough. Also, he was working already is, but of you know quote, and so, but we are living in the sent men

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and he could not. He could not look for. He could not lead. He could not move like move to a forward. Looking emotion like optimism, which is critical to be visionary leader, for example.

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So the point is my empathy allowed me to pick up on his her sentiment to feel his ascent men swollen interaction, his body language, the words he said how he health help the energy that I picked up and allow me then to identify the emotion that is more helpful,

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so I shifted helped him to first recognize that this was not a useful emotion, the one that was more useful and some intermediate steps in order to get to optimism. In this case, you go from resentment first to acceptance, accepting that my boss treated me badly in the past, and I cannot change that. I accept that not that I

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like it but accept that had happened in the past and they cannot change it now. From that emotion of acceptance, I can then shift to more future oriented forward. Looking emotion, such as optimism- and that is exactly what he did, but my embassy allow me

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to identify that to feel that and the same as for any leader, if you as a leader in france, people you want to mobilise people and they’re, not mobilize the not they’re, not inspired, for example, they are, they don’t show the bather you want them to show you can to empathy. You can put yourself into their shoes understand

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where they are with their thoughts. Was there in both cognitively, as well as from an emotional empathy perspective, and then you can help them shift.

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It makes a lot without empathy. You cannot do that and now it makes absolute sense makes it, and I really enjoy the story now before you go deep into that story. You said something was interesting to me and that was you know. We can also show too much empathy, so you just showed a great story of showing enough empathy

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and understanding. You know where your client’s, emotional, state and stuff like this to get to the core root problem, which, which is what we coaches do, but as the leaders enter at, what point can they recognize or what point is it that they code shown too much empathy as you as you kind of hinted at, and how can they catch themselves before they go down that route

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yeah? So so that too much would be. Let’s say if I leads back to that situation if, if fabric suffered so much with this, the other person that I could not think clearly that I would fall into this depressive state into this, like that, I would take on his resentment towards his boss,

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for example, I if I would suddenly feel resentment towards his bus, I, if I would feel it really deeply inside, then I could I I could not

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clear think clearly about how to move them out of it. K, l couldn’t see future possibilities and it’s just fallen from an emotional state from the psychological state that that that I would be in. So how do you do that too? I first of all I’m aware of it. I don’t let myself getting

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in the story. I feel the emotion, but I don’t allow myself to to to to to to to get stuck in it now. I just feel it enough, so there’s food, the desk to understood the differences when we talk about emotions, one is the moon, which is an emotional state, is more pervasive and that can actually

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lead to to. You know to an ongoing you know, barrier to certain behavior leadership, behavior or you just have in a moment. You feel an emotion and- and it’s just in a moment and then goes away into shift and as emotional to another set of emotions. I, for that. Second, one is that’s what I’m doing a pick,

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the emotion just enough to to to understand it so that I can actually be of help

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yeah. No, I I definitely understand that you know. Basically, you get to the point where you’re being impacted been so empathetic you’re actually been impacted with the other person’s situation. Yeah. If I suffer deeply with desperate. That does not mean that I that had become dehumanised. The whole thing does

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this up still field out, but I going to get caught up in it, yeah you’re able to still kind of have that you know thirty. You know thirty thousand foot view of the situation, see it in its entirety, whereas you know the hurt, the other person could be completely into the weeds of it yeah and really tron anna and the only variable as a leader, the more

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the partiers being empathetic understand your situation then help guide them to see the full situation.

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I guess that then, would kind of dovetail read into compassion right, cause now, you’re being compassionate with them you’re having an understanding with them up. So how is leaders how? How might we use compassionate to to be an inspirational and how people buy into division?

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Yeah, I do sort of compassion early comes into compassion, includes. Empathy had built on empathy is to empathy is an important part. That’s why I built it first to make the leader care the compassion, extend a commitment to say. Ok, I care, let’s say, for example, an a

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let’s say. Somebody you love or care about that like caught you and says: oh my mother died, for example, an important person died. Now you would have empathy. Was the person briefed the persons close to you and you would care about it, but at it you know he would sit on the phone but roost. He didn’t know what to do. But

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if you say like also empathy, I’m finding out what the person really needs and I make the commitment to act on it. So, for example, that said, a person is alone at home, and you say I should I come over and cook cook your meal or just be by your side and talk right and and persons as olive would be nice if he could come into that’s basic lu weight. When you add the

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commitment to surf, which is basically cook compassion or you see a child, your mother’s crying and the child fell into the water and is drowning, and she she cause for help and empathy makes you care about it until you feel the pain of the mother right kind of the the fear and panic. But it’s the compassion that

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takes you. Let’s say you take a stick or a hope, or whatever and walk into the water and pull the child out

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very important in leadership right kind of to to take those the two step, which basically is the emotion that allows you to be a servant leader

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now. I am makes absolute sense because

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you know leadership is more than just the nine to five the the offices, but having understanding people’s personal lives and knowing, where they’re at because we’re not robots. We we we take our baggage, our yard, to work with us, and then we take our work baggage, the home with us, so just having that compassion can definitely

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not just inspire, but it makes that the deep connection and bond between you’d have leader and your team members, so that you know they they become loyal to you, because you’re loyal to death and that’s a bit, you know to be loyal. You also have to be compassionate understanding. The data sick kid at home, for example, like I did yesterday,

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it was no big deal stayed home, took care of my kid. You know, but I show up, and you know I’ll get- I still get the job done

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yeah, and this is why you said something wonderful. It’s like you know. Everybody talks about the great resignation and, and and and and companies struggling for talent right. We have the baby boomers retiring and we have these in all economic issues and everything but like if, if a leader is, is caring and then

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committed to surf and and in that way, and it’s really authentic, the people are more likely to stay with their leader.

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I absolutely return the loyalty to the commitment in in as away and, and they will

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no b just be much more emotionally engaged in emotional engagement is so much more powerful than the national engagement rational means. I I do the work just to to make a living, for example, or to have a job so that I can pay off my mortgage or whatever. That is more rational. Engagement, emotionally means, like you’re, really emotionally engaged in the in

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the work you care about it.

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No absolutely- and I discussed that and enlighten many previous episodes, ah the great resignation and how having your compassion leads to loyalty and when you have royalty that keeps people around, because they they they like. Where

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rat right, we don’t know, we don’t know the other side of the grass, isn’t always greener on the other side, but after a while to the delft, the ill be huge feeling of them have leaving now. That being said, there’s all I even talk about loyalty when someone does leave and he can still keep those bonds. You know I have a. I have a former employee,

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mind, someone who worked for directly for me and she moved on, and I was happy for guess who still keeps getting requests for

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character. You know a as a reference know and- and it’s been a while- it’s been a while since she’s worked for me, but if I ever have an opening there and my organization where she would be a great fit while guests who I’d be letting know, and I guarantee I’m pretty sure she’d be she’d, be applying pretty quick right, because we have that loyalty. That compares like that

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example at the yeah. I liked that example, because very often people don’t think beyond that current commitment or relationship they have in that specific world. But the world is much bigger right. People move on, he might rejoin again at a later point in time. I’ll have had a employs or colleagues cents. On that I have rehired

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but overtime for new projects. Today you know I do large projects and I I hire people contractors and so on and we the form all the time. So so it’s a long-term relationship and you you you, you might break up now, because there is no project but may be a later. You have another project together and same with it

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fixed employment rights. Somebody might leave you, but yet you might meet at another opportunity absolutely right. I often refer to his friends in court. You know the korea another company and, and maybe

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you might be able to call on the accompanying and then suddenly you got an easy deal, your easier deal because you’ve dealt with that person in the past, so there’s there’s so many great advantages to not just your shooing people away or getting angry when they decide to leave, or rather you hoping happy for them and and being walter them in their departure,

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which which boils down to this leadership behaviors that were talking to here to I’d like to I’d dive now into interest, which is the next one. I’m going to hit a couple more of these because there’s a couple there. I believe the leader out there wants to dive deeper into interest is definitely one knew how how can we

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we spark people’s interest? How can we be interesting to our people, especially when we spend so much time with them? Ah, how do we go actually about achieving interest? Then your mind

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yeah yeah, and this this is the this- is the at each of these. Emotions are fascinating and then deepened and air up from psychological research perspective, and obviously I dove deep into each of of of of what that means, but interest that first of all it it came why I am

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edited there at came from that. I have many met. Many leaders in my life, so called leaders who do not understand what they were talking about there were. There were given a chat date. They signed up for a challenger for a job and did not. It did not show any interest, really understanding deeply. So what what does interest me mature,

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elida understand? He should understand the needs of the people he or she is leading whose life he or she is trying to change night. So if I’m innovating and come up with a new product, a new service or solutions whatever I need to, I need to be interested in the people whose life I’m iffy

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affecting and the impact a half rides with understanding their needs. How they’re feeling about this? What the issues are, but also need to be able to understand that the systems and solutions I am creating

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and and- and so I have seen too many leaders, so called leaders that did not understand what they were talking about and the reason one reason was: they were not interested in it. I they were just. They were interested in the leadership position. Maybe in may be into and the

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the level you know that it gave them the respect of whatever, maybe the money. Maybe you know because they wanted to move up in society whatever, and I don’t mean it in a negative way. I mean just saying that was in if the interest legs, it’s very hard to understand, if you don’t have it, you know that from school right when you are sitting in a class,

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what do well in class that you were not interested in that topic, I didn’t gaga. I was only doing well in those were really had a deep interest in. I was passionate about understanding that right and the same here with leaders, it’s it’s tool for anybody, and now how do? How can you cultivate interests? You need

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two connected. You connect this topic or the person that you are need to be interesting, that you leading for something that’s important to you.

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I for that goes back to the caring. That is the reason why I built this caring and then from like commitment to serving an understanding on top of each other, because if you care- and you have a commitment to serve you’ll you’ll, you will have automatically a high interest or two if you’re committed to serve somebody so

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need you will be more interest. If you have that commitment, you will be more interested to understand the need.

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What is this person really need in this moment? What was we talked about your friend whose mother died, for example, if you’re committed to serve this person’s need, you would say what you will ask. What do you need right now? What do you need most right now? Where can I help? Maybe the person your friend gets already held from another relative in some area? Maybe some

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bodies cooking already a meal, but maybe the person just needs to to organize the funeral. You know or by the flowers, so I don’t know all the issues is you know how overwhelming it can be, and it’s a it’s an emotional. It is a difficult state in that moment, so asking and trying to find out what the person needs. That

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interest makes. You understand it, but it comes from that you’re committed to serve that person and that you deeply care.

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I really enjoyed all about and I feel yeah all the audience probably could hear me roll my eyes when you talked about but haven’t of leaders that weren’t interested in what they are doing. I had no idea all right. It’s you’re, not leading at all you just shown up, like you said, been collecting a paycheck going home at the end of the day and you’re, not

00:32:34

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very inspirational, which is later in the west if you’re not interested but being interested in your people- and you know such an easy way to achieve this is I I talked about this tactic all the time and as the first thirty minutes of the day. First, thirty minutes of the day don’t do work, but rather talk

00:32:54

Speaker

to your team and don’t talk about work to your team, talk about their lives and you’ll be interested in them. You know how was their evenings? How was the ricans? How was their kids? What sports are they into? Did they watch the game the night before what you know whatever, but just kind of going back to showing a little bit empathy trying to make that connection with them? Having understand

00:33:15

Speaker

who they are, having understanding what’s going on in their wife, so that when the time comes, you have an understanding who are you have a connection? You have a bond of trust built and then you can go okay, you know your or your mother, that. How can I help?

00:33:33

Speaker

Well, then, does wonder this a wonderful example right, it’s kind of in it that can extend actually to to what you’re working right right now? What are you possibly stripe, spreading anguish of why you are working on what you’re working on? Why are you passionate about it? Why you’re passionate about so that opens up a new opportunities

00:33:51

Speaker

s for, for you to understand him as a leader to be more connected with the people, but also it allows for the person to share and then for for, for for you to share how the person’s work fits into the larger mission of the organization into the vision or you can actually be of support in terms of coach,

00:34:12

Speaker

king and so on. So this this kind of fortuitous explaining the morning the thirty minute conversation or in between we call it a hewlett packard. Why I worked for twenty four years as leader and in the different leadership was call it like management by by walking around

00:34:31

Speaker

and that dave dave, packard and bill it and invented it. There are cultivated it there, but all the managers were at that time were cultivating it until you had a close connection to to the people and and that all automatically created a higher empathy and care and higher commitment to serve

00:34:51

Speaker

for as well and cultivated interest in and cultivated better understanding know it’s it’s fantastic interest is absolutely crucial to developing a high performing team for sure I didn’t trip over optimism because I think the leader, if there has a good understand what optimism is and and why it’s important to them, but

00:35:11

Speaker

inspiration as a whole. I think this is where a lot of people leaders are probably struggle, because it’s like how you know. How can I be inspirational? I not ever one of us is the one with the elon musk’s out there or you know pick on anyone, but rather it’s it’s difficult,

00:35:31

Speaker

lt be inspirational or the tactics they use just aren’t connecting with thirteen so for the leader at those striving trying to be inspirational, but doesn’t quite know how to do it or might have a bit of a shell on them. How can they get get past? That and actually become inspiration answered your team yeah. This is it.

00:35:51

Speaker

This is an excellent question, because inspiration very often we we associate with small charismatic leaders that that’s one way to inspire it’s one way, but it’s only one way as many as a ways and what I and I coach people is

00:36:08

Speaker

is to say like the way you inspire that the the approach you take to inspire people needs to fit your style, so I had leaders that the it was reporting to I software could greatly. Does it inspire me? They were not cosmetic leaders, they were competent.

00:36:28

Speaker

They were great role models in terms of integrity and care and compassion. They were, let’s say they would lend an ear when I needed that they would show interest

00:36:42

Speaker

so so that that could be awakens, but that inspired me or as this would inspire me to they’re great, because they were experts in the field and and an essay I could go to them and I could learn something from them that I could not learn anywhere else. Why to this is sue expertise and competence into this, so it needs to fit into

00:37:02

Speaker

the style of the leader and in a I described that actually in the book itself, at the different ways, a how somebody can choose their own style and combinations of activities that fit to them and they can learn to inspire others now in in jan of a if I take it one layer up. What I found

00:37:22

Speaker

in common is that a leader, if you can, that saved, go back to the vision for a moment, division that you have as a leader that,

00:37:31

Speaker

but you are out to create for the organization and if you can align that vision, mr highest aspirations of the people that you’re leading

00:37:42

Speaker

I put there personally aspiring to and what you are aspiring to wish organizations. If you can caden alignment there and you can communicate it in a way that is clearly understood and and very often miss when it needs to be reinforced multiple times and also of speedy alliant right. It’s kind of continuous work.

00:38:02

Speaker

That is always a way to inspire that, if you think about scott, you have something you dream of in the world that you that you are totally passionate about the hut and aspiration that’s much bigger than yourself and you work for an organization whose vision is aligned with that you will be fired up.

00:38:22

Speaker

Nobody needs to motivate you in the morning. If you know that if you see that connection, how would you try to achieve is aligned to his face the organization price to achieve you’re going to to got out of bed in the morning and it nobody needs to push you off.

00:38:40

Speaker

Does it not include sense, and I really liked the point that you know there’s more than one way to inspire. We don’t have to be that ra ra leader and I would argue, it’s not even appropriate at all times like I, I believe, I’m a bit of a charismatic guy. So when I breathe give presentations and staff there are always dynamic and people were and thorough,

00:39:00

Speaker

no jokes and I’ve always been told that it’s always a good time and I was actually preparing one today for one. I have to give it a few weeks and I gave last year and asked me to come back again bought the same time. You know that’s, I can’t show up every day and and be that way. I have to be fit the situation too, and

00:39:20

Speaker

sometimes it’s kind of like what you said. Sometimes I inspire by leading by example, sitting there and you’re getting my work done and making sure things are lined up making sure my team understands the goals that there are achieving and how it light fits with the bigger picture making sure everyone’s line up applying people’s strengths. To where I need them to be. You know in some time

00:39:40

Speaker

time’s getting them to see that their weaknesses are not as great as what they think they are yeah and, and sometimes it’s just a simple, no accountability poke. So I I host a a mastermind community where we we get together. Weekly we go over content and and- and one of the things I do is ask for. Ok,

00:40:00

Speaker

anyone want accountability this week and one of the members said yeah. I want accountability because

00:40:06

Speaker

I’m going to go to this new pool, but I’m hesitant- and you know blah blah blah know- excuse, excuse, excuse, I’m sure she’s listened to this and since a excuses. But you know in her mind was all reasons said. Well, you know it sounds fucked me there’s a there’s a bit of an imposter syndrome there you know you, you think you’re not good enough to go to the pool and long story short. You know

00:40:26

Speaker

it was just a little bit of chemical, the inspired her to go to pool and guess what should a live. Video in our private group and she’s like it was awesome. I had a great time. It was not scary. It’s just that little bit of accountability inspire her to your pushed years out of her comfort zone. So wonderful is there’s different ways to do.

00:40:46

Speaker

It’s just a matter of

00:40:49

Speaker

like what you said about strengths know like if so, if you tap into the strengths of a person with the task any to achieve, if you use their strength, they fill also inspired because they did then they’re not afraid. But if the issues you asked them to to to to do something, and- and that is their weakness and they don’t know

00:41:09

Speaker

how to do it, it will not be inspired. They will possibly give up

00:41:13

Speaker

absolutely also. They thought he’d take that back to empathy of a leader really to understand to pick up where the person that you are leading us and it all it all comes together. Right like I, I know you have gone and you’ve kind of lay them out, and you got your pyramid and all that, but the day it all blends together when you start talking to you actually

00:41:34

Speaker

put the action, but you have to have understanding of the differences to actually put it all together and before up with that, I do want to wrap up. I hear with positivity cause. I think that super important specially today, like we need positive leaders out there.

00:41:54

Speaker

The tagline of the show’s early lead, don’t boss, and I think you can understand. Why is that right? Like yep? We need leaders at their. We need positive leaders out there, there’s so much negativity the looming. You know slash recession. That’s here you mentioned the war in ukraine that is impacting so many people, yours, impacting the world one way or another.

00:42:14

Speaker

There odd financial stock crash for into the crypto market, that is completely fell right out and the great recession now we’re talking about all kinds of other things are so many reasons to not be positive, but us as leaders, if we want to inspire women, have trust to create optimism all the stuff. We do need to breed positive

00:42:34

Speaker

every. So I’d love to hear your thoughts for the listener there and how we can go about that

00:42:40

Speaker

yeah. That’s all! So it’s it’s it’s it’s! I I need to do to to make clear that it’s not about toxic positivity that we’re talking about here, toxic love and positivity. Just to put that aside, is about where you don’t allow any negative, negative feelings to come up in the egg. They’re covered up basically writes with

00:43:00

Speaker

as the sentiment in an organization not allowed to talk about it and make you make like everything is fine, but not everything is fine. Now we’re not talking about that type of positivity because they thought real positivity, because, as under the surface, this negativity, cooking or boiling know, but we talking here about his let’s say negative negative things

00:43:20

Speaker

happen.

00:43:22

Speaker

Let’s say you you you you come to more to work. You had a plan to execute, but something happened. An accident or like pandemic was a good example essay from one day to the next. You could not execute your plan as you had plan. What do you do then? I too, you could just be like totally frustrated, angry, etc. All the things

00:43:42

Speaker

so fearful, which would not allow you to act, they will freeze you they make. That would create a downward spiral of negativity and and research has shown that negativity, this downward spiral of negativity in personally in a person, but also in a team and an organization in a family, whatever it does not allow, will help the person that

00:44:02

Speaker

it’s the opposite. It makes a person less the city, which means less able to overcome adversity to deal with adversity. To to to us, please severe and in the in the in the face of setbacks and fun now is auto loan that if you can cultivate positivity, which means that the feeling of

00:44:22

Speaker

positive emotions, if you can balance it more and feel more positive emotions. Despite the negative thing that happened, you become more resilient to become more able to deal with the adversity, to overcome it and to deal with setbacks and overcome those setbacks, for example, by seeing new possibilities, flag

00:44:43

Speaker

actions that he could not see. If you go into the negatives spiral again, emotions drive behaviour, it if’s the emotion, private, the possibilities that plus what actions you can take and to choose from and refused go into negatives by a speidel the same as pool for any kind of relationship like this have like a relationship

00:45:03

Speaker

psychologists found out long time ago. There are like marriages or put the like relationships that that a too negative they don’t last at all same in an organization, so that the point is that you can learn and cultivate positive emotions, and I want to give you an example that is very

00:45:23

Speaker

personal to me. I doing the pandemic, I lost two siblings. Tragically, don’t need to go into the details here, but it was it was. It was really a big setback emotionally that to me, and but I had had this book to tour finished- writing at my clients to day care of at my family to take care of its on in the middle of all

00:45:43

Speaker

this upheaval, and I consciously decided- and because I knew if I, if I go too much into the negative feelings if you’re, let’s see if I keep the time am, I am sad all the time I’m not able to to deal with life. So I said I’m a but I need to cleave said in a allow myself, a gift make

00:46:03

Speaker

a little bit time every day to cleave it’s my time, but then for the rest of the day, I also tap into sources of positivity that create a better balance. So that am not that I’m overly more positive so that I enjoy, for example, time with my family, that I go out

00:46:23

Speaker

nature into a walk, or did I listen to music or whatever the source of positivity is,

00:46:30

Speaker

and I was able to to balance it out, and it made me more of a cylinder was able to deal with all the challenges that I was facing that moment, the same as pool for a leader in an organization to find that balance and find new sources of positivity for him or herself, but also help his team or his organization too.

00:46:50

Speaker

To to create positive experiences, tried the way he or she shows up the way

00:46:58

Speaker

like the events or activities that that I created a rounded and so on, and this is again not about toxic positivity. It’s about the real feeling of the real balance between the negative things that happen and the positive feelings and kept by tapping into sources of positivity and cultivating them

00:47:17

Speaker

wow.

00:47:19

Speaker

Just the first thing I would say, is my condolences to you and your family.

00:47:24

Speaker

Thank you. It’s a start. You ever easy showing up on your own podcast with someone you’ve met. You know what not less than an hour ago and share that type of story with

00:47:36

Speaker

and the same and then something I appreciate the your toxic positivity

00:47:43

Speaker

cause jap that are percent and that those things do exist and and and unfortunately that they’re they’re worse than being negative. You know, I I would say, are even more toxic than toxic organizations per se, because people show up thinking it’s oh, this is all great, but the reality is it’s not great and there’s a

00:48:03

Speaker

a lotta y’all to trust the roads from people who have been around for a long time and so on so forth. So yeah and I’ll share a personal story similar to yours. Do I remember I was on a house on which course, when my last ones actually- and I was supposed to give a presentation- and literally right before I walked into

00:48:24

Speaker

give the presentation. I one of my my instructors hold me aside and let me know that a friend mentor colleague of mine had passed away while on operations and was like. I was like wow as I did not expect that right, but it was like okay. Well, how can I honor him? How can I you know and, like you know, go and rockfish thing? So that’s pretty much

00:48:44

Speaker

what I did. I kept a positive outlook and because he was a super positive guy, let me tell you I he was always a. It was all he was always good for a laugh and so on so forth, but you’re just grabbed the past, the positivity of the negative situation out of it and therefore with it now. Obviously, every day we don’t have these.

00:49:04

Speaker

U huge events going on in our wives in the workplace, but I think for the leader of their point is: is that

00:49:11

Speaker

every challenge from provides an opportunity

00:49:15

Speaker

and our jobs as leaders is to find that opportunity and look at that and highlight that and bring that to the forefront for the positive aspects of it and that then, in turn can inspire our teams and you’ll keep them going and another story I’ll wrap up with her, as I interviewed the ceo of a of a small

00:49:35

Speaker

our company. Actually, I was just talking with him and asking him you know chatting and protect about the financial crash in two thousand and eight, and I and I asked him about it, and he said he like you know how did it impact his business and of course he said it was huge. Like a you know, overnight business dried up there is, it was a printing company, so

00:49:55

Speaker

so company stopped printing flyers and brochures and all this stuff and all of his orders dried up, but he said I, I gathered a team, I let them know what the situation was, and then I told him I will not let one you go and we’ll get through this together. I don’t know what we’re going to do but run to do it and wont behold. They got through it and he didn’t

00:50:15

Speaker

not. One single person go the spot. You know, despite all the all the challenges that they occurred, so such great story. It was a great enter, a chat with that german.

00:50:28

Speaker

I know, there’s been a great conversation. I thoroughly enjoyed it up, although we are gonna wrap up here as her hit upon time, and you got a couple of last questions for you at the first being a crusher as all the guests here at peak performance, leadership podcast as current to you what makes a great leader

00:50:47

Speaker

yeah, I I I would say the things that I said before, that somebody is able to to envision the future and aspirational future that that really

00:51:01

Speaker

it comes the the issues and needs that the people are dealing with, that the leader has committed to serve okay and being able to to influence the behavior of people in a way that that helps to make that vision comfortable towards those two things. Obviously, it takes a great understanding and empathy and and compare

00:51:21

Speaker

ashman so on, but it at the essence, it’s about being a visionary leader and being able to mobilise people to make that vision. A reality by influencing their behavior awesome, laurent and fall of questions show is how can people find you follow you shameless plug? It’s all about you now

00:51:38

Speaker

yeah. So so, if people are interested in an emotion based leadership, then the books available aspire, seven essential emotions for leading positive change. No matter where you are now you can get on amazon. You can also contact mirror of find out more on my website, reiner law,

00:51:58

Speaker

comp dot com and there you can also get access to the book, but I’m also on linkedin when people want to follow me there and- and I share a lot there and and facebook as well and and twitter and those places, but then goodness, by primary place, of where I share every day and and so on,

00:52:19

Speaker

and for you to leader it’s it’s easy, always just go to lead the boss dot com for slashed to three sixty thirty six links are not charlotte’s arrogant. Thank you for taking time out of your busy schedule. Talk now say it was a fantastic conversation

00:52:35

Speaker

was a great leisure scott.

00:52:39

Speaker

That’s a wrap for this episode latest german. Thank you for listening. Thank you for supporting the peak performance leadership podcast, but you know what you could do to truly support the podcast. No, that’s not leaving a rating and review it simply helping a friend, and that is helping a friend by sharing this

00:52:57

Speaker

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00:53:18

Speaker

just hit that little share button on your app and then feel free to follow this episode to anyone that you feel would benefit from it. Finally, there’s always more there’s always more lessons around being the highest performing leader that you can possibly be, whether it for

00:53:38

Speaker

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