8 Leadership Myths | Scott McCarthy | Episode 212

Scott McCarthy:
So there you are. You’re listening to a podcast maybe, or potentially you’re reading an article and you disagree with what the host or the author is saying and how leadership needs to be. Does this sound familiar? Because let me tell you, it happens to me on a regular basis. Today I go over eight myths. What it means to be a leader. Are you ready for this? Alright, lets do it. Welcome one, welcome all to the peak Performance Leadership podcast. A weekly podcast series dedicated to helping you hit peak performance across the three domains of leadership.

Scott McCarthy:
Those being leading yourself, leading your team, and leading your organization. This podcast couples my 20 years of military experience as a senior canadian army officer with world class guests to bring you the most complete podcast of leadership going. And for more, feel free to check out our website@movingforwardleadership.com, and with that, let’s get to the show. Hey, yes, it is your chief leadership officer, Scott McCarthy. And thanks for tuning in to you two listener, it’s so great to have you here. And today we are going to be talking about eight different myths of leadership. And this really came about because I was having a conversation with someone not too long ago and it was really not a conversation, but rather a debate. And what we were debating was, you know, the difference between leader, manager, and of course, this person had the very, what I would call traditional view set of leader.

Scott McCarthy:
Manager. That is, leader is one thing, manager is something else and the two shall never meet. Whereas if you’ve been listening to the podcast for any time now, you realize that I have a completely different viewpoint in that in order to be a good leader, you also need management skills. But I digress. So I started thinking about, okay, what are other myths out there that you as leaders are being fed? Because let me tell you, there’s a lot of great content out there. I am not the only great leadership coach, podcast host, whatever. There are many, obviously. You know, we’ve had tons of them on the podcast and in their own little niches and areas of expertise and so on and so forth.

Scott McCarthy:
And there’s many others out there that I haven’t had, but there’s also a lot of junk. Right? So with that, I decided for this solo episode to go over eight different myths of being a leader. So no further ado, let’s dive in. Alright. Myth number one, you can’t make mistakes. What? How can you not? We cannot afford to make mistakes in this day and age. We can’t afford to lose time. We can’t afford to take the wrong turn.

Scott McCarthy:
You can make mistakes because guess what? Mistakes will happen. But it’s not about what making the mistake, per se. It’s about what you do when you realize that you’ve made the mistake. Going about and fixing it is what you need to do. And sometimes that requires you to get a little humble. Sometimes that means you need to apologize to people. And guess what? That shows humility. That shows empathy.

Scott McCarthy:
That are all great team building aspects, trust building aspects, which owe, by the way, are core to be a great leader. So let me tell you, you can make mistakes. Now, I’m not saying for you to go out and actively make mistakes, but rather, if you make a mistake, it’s not the end of the world. How many times have we talked about it on the podcast, enabling our team members to make mistakes, but to learn from them? It is now time to practice what we preach as leaders. So, myth number one, debunked. You can’t make mistakes. Myth number two, you need to know it all. Maybe back in the day, you, as the leader, needed to know it all.

Scott McCarthy:
And I mean, back in the days, in, like, ancient times, days when the leader was, you know, the most educated person, the quote unquote smartest, per se. And even then, in those days, and I’m talking, like, way back, like, you know, I’m in the big vikings binge watching right now. So, you know, back in, you know, ancient times, well, guess what? Kings still had advisors, so even then, they didn’t know it all. Why? Because if they did know it all, why would they have an advisor? You see, leadership today in the 21st century is not about answers, but rather questions. You have team members who know it all with in their areas of expertise. Your job as a leader is to ask the right questions so that the answers that they bring to you enable you to make the best decisions possible. It is impossible to know it all. This day and age, things are so complex.

Scott McCarthy:
Things change so rapidly. It literally is impossible to keep up. That is why niching and specialization is becoming more and more and more prevalent. Deeper and deeper and deeper. People are going in very thin lanes. Why to become those specialists? Because it is getting so complex that it’s impossible for one person to know it all about everything. And especially you as the leader. You can’t know it all.

Scott McCarthy:
This is why you need to rely on your advisors, your team members who do know it all, who can advise you, who can inform you, who can help you make the best decision possible based off of the situation. So that, ladies and gentlemen, myth number two, you need to know it all. Debunked diving into myth number three, and that is you can’t change decisions. How many times have we heard it from leaders there that once they made a decision, regardless of what transpired after that, they stuck to it? Why? Because I would be losing face. I would be, you know, I don’t know, pick any excuse out there, really. I’m having a hard time figuring one out. But the reality is, lots of leaders out there will not change their mind when I they make a decision. Why? I don’t know.

Scott McCarthy:
Personally, I can speculate. Maybe they’re too scared. Maybe they believe they’re going to lose credibility because it makes them look, quote unquote, weak. Maybe it’s that they don’t want to face the current reality. Maybe they’re too stuck in their lanes. If you’ve been listening to the show anytime, you’ll have heard me talk about if the situation changes, then you have a new decision, right? So you make a decision based off of one bit of information. You decide to go right. Now, as you turn right, there’s a big sign that says dead end.

Scott McCarthy:
So what do you do? Do you keep driving forward? No, of course not. You’ve got new information, and the information is telling you the road stops in front of you. So what do you do? You u turn and you go, well, now straight. But what would have been left? Oh, enterprise interstate. Boom. Right there in front of you onto the highway. Mach speed, way we go. Very simple example.

Scott McCarthy:
But still, it shows to you that when you’re given new information based on a situation, you’re not actually changing your decision, per se. You’re reacting to the new information provided to you, and that causes you to change course sometimes. And guess what? That is a okay. In fact, that is what you need to be doing as a leader. So you can’t change the decision. Smith debunked myth number four. It’s glorious. Being a leader is amazing.

Scott McCarthy:
You know, it’s champagne, caviar, people bowing to you. It couldn’t be further from the worst. Fact of the matter is, yes, there are so many great aspects of to being a leader. But I’ll tell you, it is far from glorious. In fact, I don’t believe there’s anything glorious about it, per se, especially if you put your team members to the forefront, that they are the ones that deserve all the glory. They’re the ones who deserve the recognition you as the leader, you enabled, you inspired, you motivated, you got it, you direct it. They got the job done. They’re the ones who deserve all the praise.

Scott McCarthy:
Leadership can also lead you to difficult places, dark places for some people, depression can be prevalent. Right? Social anxiety, anxiety, sleeplessness. There’s lots of different issues. Why? Because you have so much things on your mind. People’s lives are in your hands, organizational future in your hands, so much strain. Does that sound glorious to you? Because it certainly as hell doesn’t sound glorious to mean. And guess what? I’ve lived through this, and I know right then and there I was not selling being a leader. But you know what? When you turn around and you’re able to make decisions and influence things that not only get things done, but rather help the individuals that come under your control or that are affected by you, it just makes it all worthwhile.

Scott McCarthy:
Nonetheless, with all its pain, it’s glorious. Myth number four, debunked. Myth number five, you need to be a hard ass. You need to be difficult and demanding and tight timelines, making sure everything’s lined up perfectly properly every single minute of the day, and demand absolutely the best out of your people at every single second. And there is no wavering whatsoever. Sure, some of that quasi agree with, but most of it I don’t. Obviously, you don’t need to be a hard ass. Are there times that you need to be? Absolutely.

Scott McCarthy:
I’ll be the first one to tell you. I can certainly be a hard ass. And if you know me, that may surprise you, but the reality is sometimes it’s needed, but most of the time, it’s not. You don’t need to be overly demanding. People want to do a good job. People don’t wake up in the morning, go, oh, it’s Thursday. Great. So.

Scott McCarthy:
And time to brush my teeth, get a shower, and then think to myself, how am I going to mess up the boss’s day today? People don’t do that. Rather, people go, okay, let’s have a good day. You know, sometimes people don’t necessarily think along those lines, but the reality is they’re not looking to sabotage. They’re not looking to mess you up. So you don’t need to be a hard ass. Now, that being said, you know, certain personnel require certain types of leadership styles which motivate them. And us as leaders, that’s our job to figure that out. So maybe the one person needed to be a hard ass, but to the rest of the team, you need to be a little bit more or less a fair.

Scott McCarthy:
And that’s okay because that’s what it means to be a leader, to go across that spectrum, to go in and out and, you know, apply different styles and methodology to the situation that you have in front of you. As the old saying goes, if the only tool you have in your toolbox is a hammer, everything is going to look like a nail. So if you are only a hard ass, that’s the only style you’re going to employ, which in turn, is not going to get the results you want. And I would even argue this day and age, it is going to be negative results. Myth number five need to be a hard ass, debunked. Myth number six. Experiences. The end all, be all.

Scott McCarthy:
And this kind of goes back to myth number two, I would say, but we’re gonna go down a very specific line, and that is, as a leader, you have to have experience. Why? Does it help? Sure, absolutely. But why do you need experience? Why do leaders need experience? Leaders need skills. They need to be personable. They need to be able to interact with people, inspire, motivate. They need to know how to be able to balance resources, manage resources, time, be able to plan. You need to be able to make decisions, weigh pros and cons. Does experience help those things? Sure.

Scott McCarthy:
But does experience make those things? Does experience mean that you, as a leader, you’re going to have those things? Absolutely not. Lots of great young leaders out there have these attributes already. Just need to get unlocked. And if you’re listening and you’re one of those, congratulations. You can lead right now. You don’t need to wait. You don’t need 1520 years of experience. Go out there now.

Scott McCarthy:
Find somewhere where you can influence and inspire and motivate. Congratulations. You might not have a team, but you’re a leader. People look up to you. You’re a leader. So experience isn’t the end all, be all. I was 23 years old, in charge of 82 soldiers. I had subordinates that were more than double my age.

Scott McCarthy:
Some of them had more years serving in the army than I had alive. Yeah, I was in charge now. Yes, military rank structure and all that comes into play. But just because I was in charge doesn’t mean I was a leader. But instead, I sought out ways to inspire and motivate and make positive changes. Wake up in the morning and determine, okay, how am I going to make my troops lives better today? You don’t need to have 20 years of experience to ask that question and seek the answer to it. But rather, you have to have the motivation, the drive, the human skills to interact with people, decision making, and the resource management aspects behind it. That is what’s going to make you a leader.

Scott McCarthy:
It’s not experience myth number six, experience is the end, all debunked, winding down here. Myth number seven, you can’t show uncertainty. So many people out there say, as a leader, you need to show that you have the answers all the time, that you are certain about the path all the time. And that kind of goes back to, you know, myth number three, but not being able to change decisions, right? Or myth number two, about needing to be the know it all. But this one, so many people out there think you as the leader, you need to be certain all the time and portray that all the time. And I’ll tell you, your people will smell the lies from a mile away. If you are not actually telling the truth, if you’re actually uncertain about something and you are trying to portray that you are certain about it, you will fail. I like to tell a story about the 2008 financial crisis, and a business owner that I was talking to walked in to his company one day and said, folks, all of our orders got canceled yesterday.

Scott McCarthy:
We have absolutely nothing coming in. And this is a relatively small business, provided, you know, did well revenue wise and stuff like this. But overall, numbers wise of personnel, was a small business, tight knit team. And he looked at them and he said, I don’t know how we’re going to make it right now, but I am going to do whatever I can to make sure that we get through this crisis and we lose no one. And guess what happened? He got through the 2008 2009 financial crisis without losing his business and without having to lay a single person off. Was he 100% certain at that moment? Hell, no. He had no idea what the hell was going to happen the next day, let alone the next number of months. But what he showed was humility and conviction.

Scott McCarthy:
He was convinced they were going to get through it, so he was uncertain what was going to happen, but he was certain that, end of the day, he was going to keep all of his people. So, yes, you can be uncertain about something, but what you need to show is conviction. Conviction that you know you’re going to find the right path or that you are starting to go on the right path and that you’ll get through this situation. So many people out there think that you, as the leader, need to be certain all the time. And I’ll tell you, if you go portraying that, your people will smell it when it’s not true, and then you’re essentially lying to them. And with trust as the cornerstone of leadership, that trust will get immediately eroded. So, myth number seven, you can’t show uncertainty debunked the final one for this podcast, myth number eight, it has to be lonely. Now, I’ll preface this one with, I’m a huge fan of Colin Powell, may you rest in peace.

Scott McCarthy:
In fact, he was on my dream guest list until he unfortunately passed away. And Colin Powell has, you know, had a saying. The top is the loneliest place. And I get what Colin’s getting at. When you’re the leader of, you know, you’re the one that’s making decisions, in the end of the day, it all falls on you. And that can be a really lonely feeling because you’re the one that’s gonna make it or break it, right? Based off a lot of these myths and other things that I discussed in the past. Oh, 22 minutes. But you get the point.

Scott McCarthy:
Use a leader. It can be lonely. But knowing what I said, note the key word in the myth. It has to be lonely. As in has being the keyword. No, it doesn’t has to be lonely. Is it going to be lonely? Absolutely. Some days suck 100%.

Scott McCarthy:
You will be lonely, but it doesn’t have to be lonely all the time. You can find a tribe of leaders out there who understand the struggles you go through that can provide a insights, that can provide suggestions, that can provide reflections based off of their experience, which would then enable you to reflect further based off of your situation and determine whether or not what they’re saying truly applies or how you can tweak it to apply it based off of your scenario. Leading doesn’t have to be lonely. It will be lonely some days, but it won’t be lonely every day. You can have a trusted advisor. You can have a member of a team that you bring into your circle, or you go out and you find your tribe. And that is why I got the leader growth mastermind going. That is why I am providing this service to you, enable you to have that tribe to come and talk to me and other leaders face to face via Zoom weekly and talk about your problems.

Scott McCarthy:
So if you’re interested and you’re feeling lonely, don’t feel lonely anymore, go to movingforwardleadership.com mastermind and come and join us. Because it doesn’t have to be lonely. Myth number eight. It has to be lonely. May you rest in peace. Compile. Debunked. And that is it.

Scott McCarthy:
Ladies and gentlemen, those are eight myths. Are there others out there? 100%? Of course there are others out there, but these are eight that really stuck out to me as I reflected on, you know, myths of leadership that I really wanted to refute. Debunk and say, hey, this is not actually true. So again, just rounding them out. You can’t make mistakes. Of course you can. You don’t need to know. You need to know it all.

Scott McCarthy:
No, you don’t. In fact, you can’t. You can’t change decisions. Well, yes, you can. You absolutely can change decisions, especially when new information is introduced. It’s glorious. Absolutely is not. Let me tell you, you have to be a hard ass.

Scott McCarthy:
Nope. Although sometimes it helps. But if you do it all the time, you’re going to set yourself up for failure. Experience is the end all, be all. Absolutely not true. You don’t need experience. Does it help? For sure. But there are a lot of great young leaders out there.

Scott McCarthy:
You can’t show uncertainty. Sure you can. But you also, with it, need to show conviction. And that is what’s going to get you and your team through whatever it is you’re going through. And then finally, last but not least, it has to be lonely. Of course it doesn’t. Will it be lonely some days? You’re certainly right. It will be.

Scott McCarthy:
But that’s why you need to find a tribe. And that’s why I’m here. And that is the eight myths of leadership, ladies and gentlemen. Hope you enjoyed it. Hope it inspired you a little bit. I hope it helps you moving forward. If you have anything else, you know, drop us a line, check us out. Come to movingforwardleadership.com and let me know what you think.

Scott McCarthy:
And this is it. So this is your chief leadership officer, Scott McCarthy, signing off. Hope you’re all well. Remember, as always, lead, don’t boss. Take care now. And that’s a wrap for this episode, ladies and gentlemen, thank you for listening. Thank you for supporting the peak performance leadership podcast. But you know what you could do to truly support the podcast? And no, that’s not leaving a rating and review.

Scott McCarthy:
It’s simply helping a friend. And that is helping a friend by sharing this episode with them. If you think this would resonate with them and help them elevate their performance level, whether that’s within themselves, their teams, or their organization. So do that. Help me help a friend win, win all around. And hey, you look like a great friend at the same time. So just hit that little share button on your app and I then feel free to fire this episode to anyone that you feel would benefit from it. Finally, there’s always more, there’s always more lessons around being the highest performing leader that you can possibly be, whether that’s for yourself, your team, or your organization.

Scott McCarthy:
So why don’t you subscribe? Subscribe to the show via movingforwardleadership.com.com. subscribe until next time, lead. Don’t boss. And thanks for coming out. Take care now.