Leaders love to push forward. But sometimes, leading yourself means hitting pause before you break.
High drive is an asset when the mission is clear and the path is straight. It becomes a liability when fatigue creeps in, self-doubt gets loud, and the field of view narrows. The cost shows up in brittle decisions, frayed relationships, and a team that matches your energy in all the wrong ways.
Stepping back is not quitting. It is a skilled maneuver.
During pre-deployment training in 2009, I heard a story that has stuck with me ever since. A returning officer explained what happens when a helicopter loses power. A novice pilot might instinctively pull harder on the controls, trying to fight gravity. But a skilled pilot does the opposite. They immediately reduce input, keep the rotors spinning, and descend in a controlled way. That maneuver is called autorotation. It is not falling apart. It is falling with intent.
In leadership, the same principle applies. When pressure spikes, the answer is not to push harder. The answer is to reduce noise, reengage your listening, reset your perspective, and act with control.
Here’s what we’ll cover:
- How to spot the signs that it is time to step back
- Simple tools to pause without losing credibility
- Practical habits to keep your judgment, presence, and trust intact
THE HIDDEN DANGER: WHEN DRIVE TURNS AGAINST YOU
Leaders often miss the moment to pause for three reasons:
- Speed feels like progress. Silence feels like delay. The pressure to decide and keep moving makes it hard to see that pace itself has become the problem.
- Overreliance on willpower hides limits. Sleep debt and decision fatigue do not announce themselves. They show up as irritability, shortcuts, and shrinking options.
- Listening is undertrained. Without it, reactivity increases and context gets lost.
When these forces combine, even experienced leaders slide into tunnel vision. That is the cue to step back.
THE THREE RED FLAGS
There are three reliable indicators that tell you it is time to pause. Ignore them, and the costs grow.
1. REACTIVITY
- What it looks like: snapping in meetings, cutting people off, jumping to solutions too fast
- What it costs: shallow diagnosis, rework, eroded trust
- Reset practice: Use a two-breath reset. First breath, drop your shoulders. Second breath, ask yourself: What am I solving for here?
2. EXHAUSTION
- What it looks like: short temper, shortcut thinking, loss of curiosity, or a calendar filled with low-value tasks
- What it costs: weaker decisions, fatigue spreading across the team
- Reset practice: Run a perspective reset. Write down: What is the real priority? What can wait? What is the simplest workable version of success?
3. WITHDRAWAL
- What it looks like: avoiding tough topics, drifting in meetings, or making decisions in your head but not sharing them
- What it costs: misalignment, trust leaks, issues hardening over time
- Reset practice: Close the loop. Share your decision, explain why, confirm next steps.
THE AUTOROTATION MOVE FOR SELF-LEADERSHIP
In flight, when the engine fails, a pilot reduces collective to keep the rotors spinning. They descend with control and flare just before touchdown, converting freefall into a safe landing.
In leadership, autorotation looks like this:
- Recognize the unsaid. Ask: What is not being spoken, in me or around me, that matters?
- Seek to understand. Ask two questions before giving one opinion.
- Decode. Separate signal (facts) from story (assumptions).
- Act. Take the smallest next step that restores momentum without overcommitting.
- Close the loop. Share the decision, the reason, and the ownership.
This sequence keeps your “rotor speed” intact: judgment, presence, and trust remain steady even when conditions get rough.
THE PRACTICAL PAUSE TOOLKIT
- The Three-Minute Meeting Reset
Restate the purpose. Do one round of paraphrased listening. Decide or time-box an experiment. - The Personal Rotor Check
Daily scan: Energy, Focus, Presence (rate 1–5). If any score drops to 2 or below, delegate, shorten scope, or block 20 minutes for recovery. - Questions that Break Tunnel Vision
- What does success look like in three weeks, not three years?
- What is the simplest workable version of this?
- Who needs to be heard before we decide?
HOW TO STEP BACK WITHOUT LOSING CREDIBILITY
Pausing does not look like indecision when you do it well. It looks like control.
- Name the purpose: I want to get this right, not just fast.
- Time-box the pause.
- Share your lens. Explain the criteria you will use.
- Close the loop on time.
Credibility comes from clarity, not speed.
A WEEKLY SELF-LEADERSHIP CHECK
At the end of each week, ask yourself:
- Where did I notice reactivity? How did I reset?
- Where did exhaustion affect judgment?
- Where did I withdraw? What loop can I close now?
- What listening skill did I practice, and what impact did it have?
- What one step will keep my rotors alive next week?
THE TAKEAWAY
You do not prevent mistakes by pushing harder. You prevent them by spotting the red flags early and stepping back with intent.
- Reactivity: pause and reflect.
- Exhaustion: reset perspective.
- Withdrawal: close the loop.
These small moves keep your internal rotors—judgment, creativity, trust—turning under pressure. You convert descent into a safe landing, so you can take off again with better lift.
ACT NOW
These red flags do not just show up in the heat of the moment. They build slowly. Most leaders miss them until it is too late.
That is why I created the 3D Leadership Scorecard. It measures the exact patterns—reactivity, fatigue, withdrawal—that can sabotage your growth if ignored.
👉 Want to know if you are leading yourself into growth or into the ground?
Take the Scorecard and get your results instantly: leaddontboss.com/assessment
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Scott McCarthy is a senior Canadian Army Officer and Chief Leadership Officer at Moving Forward Leadership. With over two decades of real-world command experience, he equips leaders to build high-performing teams without burning themselves out. Follow Scott on LinkedIn