Let’s start with the truth most leadership books soften.
You are going to screw this up.
I remember standing in front of my team after a decision that looked solid on paper.
We had the plan.
We had the timelines.
We had the briefings.
What we didn’t have was the result.
The operation dragged. Friction built. People were frustrated. I could feel it in the room before anyone said a word.
I had pushed the timeline too hard.
I ignored early warning signs because I didn’t want to look indecisive.
I told myself we’d adjust on the fly.
We didn’t.
And now I had to stand there and face the fact that I had screwed it up.
No enemy.
No budget cut.
No external excuse.
Just me.
If you lead long enough, this will happen to you too.
Not might.
Will.
You will misread a person.
You will make a call too early or too late.
You will trust the wrong instinct.
You will let ego whisper just loud enough to nudge you off course.
That’s not a character flaw.
That’s leadership.
In You Don’t Know Sht About Leadership: And Neither Do I*, I make this explicit: leadership is messy, imperfect, and uncomfortable. Waiting to become mistake-proof before leading boldly guarantees you will never lead boldly at all.
The goal is not to avoid leadership mistakes.
The goal is to learn faster than your mistakes can compound.
STOP TREATING FAILURE LIKE A VERDICT
Most leaders don’t implode because they make mistakes.
They implode because they treat mistakes like verdicts on their identity.
“I’m not cut out for this.”
“I should have known better.”
“They’re going to lose confidence in me.”
So what happens?
- They defend
- They rationalize
- They blame the system
- They quietly bury the lesson
And six months later, the same mistake shows up wearing a different uniform.
If you’ve read my article on [Sharpening Leadership Judgment] (insert internal link), you already know this: pressure doesn’t destroy judgment — ego does.
Ego wants protection.
Discipline wants correction.
Only one of those builds credibility.
When leadership mistakes happen, the question is not:
How do I protect myself?
It’s:
How do I extract the lesson?
Because here’s the uncomfortable truth:
Your team already knows.
They know when you forced a decision.
They know when you avoided a hard conversation.
They know when your emotional state leaked into the room.
Trust is not built on perfection.
It’s built on ownership.
THE 4-STEP RECOVERY FRAMEWORK FOR LEADERSHIP MISTAKES
When you realize you’ve screwed up, work through this deliberately.
Not casually. Not privately. Not halfway.
1. OWN IT OUT LOUD
Say it.
“I got that wrong.”
“I rushed that decision.”
“I didn’t listen closely enough.”
No qualifiers.
No “but.”
No shifting responsibility.
Ownership is oxygen for trust.
When I stood in front of my team that day, I told them straight:
“I pushed this too hard. That’s on me.”
The temperature dropped immediately. Not because they were pleased — but because they knew I wasn’t going to pretend.
This is Leading Yourself: regulating ego long enough to tell the truth.
2. UNPACK THE ROOT, NOT THE SYMPTOM
Most leaders stop at surface analysis.
“We didn’t communicate well.”
“The timeline was aggressive.”
That’s description — not diagnosis.
Ask harder questions:
- What belief drove my decision?
- Was I trying to prove something?
- Did I ignore input because it threatened my authority?
- Was I tired, stressed, distracted?
In my case, the answer was simple and uncomfortable.
I didn’t want to look uncertain.
So I overcompensated with decisiveness.
That’s ego.
And if you don’t name it, you can’t fix it.
This is the discipline most leaders skip. It’s not dramatic. It’s not glamorous. It’s repetitive self-examination.
But it works.
3. ADJUST BEHAVIOR — NOT JUST INTENT
Intent means nothing if behavior doesn’t change.
If you rushed the last decision, slow the next one down deliberately.
If you cut someone off in a meeting, ask for their input first next time.
If you avoided conflict, schedule the hard conversation within 24 hours.
Learning only counts when it shows up in action.
Otherwise, it’s intellectual entertainment.
This is Leading Your Team: visible correction builds visible credibility.
4. PROVE THE LESSON STUCK
Trust is rebuilt through repetition.
One admission does not reset credibility.
Consistent improvement does.
You don’t announce that you’ve grown.
You demonstrate it.
When my team saw that I slowed timelines appropriately on the next operation, actively sought dissenting views, and paused before committing — they didn’t need a speech.
They saw the correction.
That’s when trust deepens.
Not because you were flawless.
Because you were accountable.
MAKE MISTAKES CHEAP
The strongest leaders I’ve worked with did something subtle but powerful.
They made leadership mistakes cheap.
They:
- Surfaced small failures early
- Ran after-action reviews without theatrics
- Invited dissent before execution
- Admitted their own missteps first
Why?
Because small, owned mistakes prevent catastrophic, defended ones.
If you lead an organization, this becomes critical.
Leading Your Organization means building systems where lessons are captured, not buried.
If people fear blame, they hide problems.
If they hide problems, they grow.
If they grow, you pay later.
Your culture will either learn quickly or suffer quietly.
Choose.
BACK TO THAT ROOM
What happened after I admitted I got it wrong?
Nothing dramatic.
No applause.
No resilience speech.
Just a reset.
We adjusted timelines.
We redistributed workload.
We executed again.
This time, we delivered.
But the most important outcome wasn’t performance.
It was this:
The next time friction showed up early, one of my team members spoke up immediately.
No hesitation.
Because he knew he wouldn’t get crushed for it.
That moment wasn’t about execution.
It was about psychological safety.
It was about accountability.
It was about culture.
All because of one mistake I chose not to defend.
FINAL WORD
You are going to screw this up.
I am going to screw this up.
That’s not the issue.
The issue is whether you will learn faster than your ego reacts.
If you disappeared tomorrow, would your team say:
“He was perfect.”
Or would they say:
“He owned it. He learned. And he made us better.”
Only one of those is real leadership.
WANT TO BUILD THIS KIND OF ACCOUNTABILITY?
If this resonated, here are your next steps:
- Read You Don’t Know Sht About Leadership: And Neither Do I*
https://leaddontboss.com/buy - Book a Leadership Clarity Call
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