Every leader, no matter their level of experience, encounters an inner skeptic—a doubting voice that questions whether they’re hearing genuine input or simply what others think they want to hear. This internal tension can erode trust, create isolation, and hinder clarity in decision-making. Understanding how to distinguish between genuine feedback and filtered information is essential for fostering a culture of psychological safety and truth-telling in any team or organization. Leaders must also contend with evolutionary psychological mechanisms, such as imposter syndrome, past betrayals, and the isolating effects of authority, all of which can amplify these doubts.
Today’s episode dives into the practical strategies leaders can use to crush that inner skeptic. By building honest feedback loops, asking smarter questions, and trusting both yourself and your team, leaders can create high-performing cultures where truth is valued over comfort. This episode is packed with actionable insights for leaders seeking to move from suspicion and self-doubt to understanding and empowered leadership.
Timestamped Overview
[00:00:00] Introduction to leadership challenges and the importance of honest feedback for leaders
[00:01:59] Announcing an upcoming leadership book inspired by real-world lessons and guest interviews
[00:04:05] Exploring the struggle between what leaders want to hear and what they need to hear
[00:05:03] The roots of inner skepticism: evolutionary psychology, imposter syndrome, and isolation
[00:06:28] Understanding the power dynamic: why people filter information, and the leader’s role in decoding it
[00:07:14] When skepticism is a helpful signal: identifying genuine gaps in communication
[00:08:45] When skepticism becomes harmful: overanalyzing, eroding trust, and corroding relationships
[00:09:30] Four ways to defeat the inner skeptic: building a culture of truth-telling and psychological safety
[00:10:46] The importance of never shooting the messenger and modeling transparent communication
[00:11:37] Asking better, open-ended questions to elicit honest and actionable feedback
[00:13:08] Leveraging trusted third parties, coaches, or confidants for objective input
[00:13:55] The leader’s gut check: questioning your own suspicions to foster genuine trust
[00:14:30] Training the inner voice and leading with clarity and trust
[00:15:06] Closing thoughts and reminders on the importance of trust in peak performance leadership
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Scott McCarthy
Transcript
The following is an AI generated transcript which should be used for reference purposes only. It has not been verified or edited to reflect what was actually said in the podcast episode.
Scott McCarthy [00:00:00]:
Foreign welcome all to the Peak Performance Leadership Podcast, a weekly podcast series dedicated to helping you hit peak performance across the three domains of leadership. Those being leading yourself, leading your team and leading your organization. This podcast couples my 20 years of military experience as a senior senior Canadian army officer with world class guests bringing you the most complete podcast of leadership going. And for more, feel free to check out our website@movingforwardleadership.com and with that, let’s get to the show. Yes, welcome one, welcome all. It is your Chief Leadership Officer, Scott McCarthy. And thanks for tuning in to today’s episode. And heads up, it’s going to be a solo one because I want to talk to you about something which I struggle with, how I’m getting over it and how you can go ahead and do the same thing.
Scott McCarthy [00:01:19]:
And we’ve. Before we dive into today’s episode, however, just a quick, you know, quick minute here for me to take announcement. I got a big one. Don’t think I said it on last week’s podcast, but if you’re following me on LinkedIn, if you’re following me on Facebook, first off, you should be. If not, go to lead don’t. Boss dot com. Scroll all the way to the bottom of the page, which is my homepage, and you’ll see all my social links there. But nonetheless, if you’re following me on those means or you’re subscribed to our newsletter, then you would have heard the news.
Scott McCarthy [00:01:59]:
But if you’re not, here’s the news for you. And that is I am writing my book. That’s right. Current working title is you don’t know shit about leadership. Neither do I. It’s really going to be a leadership book built for you, the everyday leader who is struggling, who doesn’t necessarily have a supervisor out there to help you grow and develop your skills. And no, this is not me just telling you what to do because I did it. Because as the subtitle says, neater do I rather, it’s my experience, my lessons learned, my interviews from eight years of podcasting, world class guests.
Scott McCarthy [00:02:50]:
And I’m bringing it all to you in this nice, neatly packaged book. So excited. I’ve been working on it now for, God, six, seven months. It’s coming towards draft status and I’m basically making it public so that I keep accountable, I keep myself accountable to you guys because I know you want it. So be on the lookout. It’s coming, more to come, no doubt, in the future. I can’t wait to get it out. You don’t know shit About Leadership is a leadership book smashed together with kind of the subtle art and not giving a fuck type theme together.
Scott McCarthy [00:03:38]:
As far as I’m concerned, a completely different leadership book than what’s out there on the market today. All right, so there we go. That is the big news. It’s coming. 20 odd thousand words and counting. The goal is to hit at least 30, maybe 40. We’ll get there, believe it or not. So, all right, nonetheless, that is it for the announcements.
Scott McCarthy [00:04:05]:
Let’s dive into what today’s topic is all about. And that is crushing that inner skeptic. What to hear versus need to hear. So, as a senior leader, I often find myself questioning, questioning myself, questioning my team. And I don’t mean this in a negative way, but rather I sit there and go, hmm, are they telling me what they think I want to hear? Or are they telling me what I need to hear? And, you know, this is super normal. This is a challenge. It affects the tons of leaders out there. And the reality is this is actually an evolutionary thing.
Scott McCarthy [00:05:03]:
It’s evolutionary psychology. It’s your voice as a protective mechanism. You see, having that in there is actually tied to your ego. It’s tied to potentially past betrayals. It’s tied to isolation, all right? And it’s tied to imposter syndrome. You may have some of those things. You may only have one of those things going on. I will tell you for myself, it’s the isolation aspect that I struggle with the most.
Scott McCarthy [00:05:44]:
Maybe for you it’s imposter syndrome. Maybe it’s imposter syndrome. Plus you got battle scars from previous leaders. Nonetheless, it is a thing, and it’s there to protect you. But the reality is it’s not serving you whatsoever. So the big thing that goes on is that it’s this power dynamic, right? As the leader, you’re in charge of your team, your organization, your business, what have you. And you have this power dynamic. And naturally, people filter what they say.
Scott McCarthy [00:06:28]:
It’s a natural occurrence. It’s not paranoia or anything. It’s simply the power dynamic at work. So let’s dive into what it means as in terms of when it’s helping you and when it’s hurting you. So when it’s a signal, a signal means it’s helping you. And that little voice there is helping us to point out real gaps in communication or feedback. So just a couple examples here. You know, you might be noticing people are hesitating, giving you input, and you respond by creating more safety, not by clamping down.
Scott McCarthy [00:07:14]:
Okay, so what’s Going on is, you know, people hesitate, but you want to create that psychological safety voice, clamp down on them. You’ve been burned before, so you’re cautious, right? But you need to use that caution to ask smarter questions or. Or dig deeper for clarity. We’ve all been burned before. I’ve been burned before. No doubt you’ve been burned before. It is unfortunately one of those job safety issues. You know what I mean? It’s just the danger of the job.
Scott McCarthy [00:07:50]:
It happens. We’ve all been burned before. So what we want to do is make sure that we’re going to ask some smarter question questions, ask generative questions, and dig that deeper for clarity. And you want to actively challenge people who you trust and use their input to refine your thinking. Okay, so you want to bring trusted individuals into your circle and go, am I, you know, am I hearing this right? What do you think? When that thought process is actually hurting you or sabotaging you, it basically distorts trust and corrodes your leadership. All right? And a few examples of this is when you instantly question anyone who gives you positive feedback. You know, you’re just sucking up. That’s not a good thing.
Scott McCarthy [00:08:45]:
When you say you want honesty, but. But when someone challenges you, you get defensive or shut them down. Again, you’re eroding psychological safety when you do that, because you’re like, you have that negative thought process in the back of your mind when you overanalyze every compliment, suggestion, looking for hidden motives, what have you. Again, it’s that thought process in the back of your mind causing you to do that. And then basically, you stop trusting your team, your peers, or even your own judgment. The voice isn’t protecting you, it’s isolating you. And that’s the one thing you need to realize when it’s sabotaging you. All right? So keep these points in mind.
Scott McCarthy [00:09:30]:
So how can we defeat it? How can we defeat it? Without losing your edge as a leader, the first and foremost, you need to develop a culture of truth telling. You have to enable psychological safety. You have to enable your team to feel like they can bring up anything without fear of retribution. And it’s going to take work. W O R K work. It’s going to take work to establish this, and it will take away your most precious resource, time. But it’s worth it. One million percent.
Scott McCarthy [00:10:16]:
You have to build that culture of truth telling. You go about that by being upfront with your team. All right, folks, just listen. I always want to be told what I need to be told. Don’t ever. Tell me what you think I want to hear. Tell me what you think I need to know. All right? You have to push that agenda.
Scott McCarthy [00:10:46]:
You have to own it, you have to model it. And first and foremost, you can never, ever, ever shoot the messenger. You can never do it because that’s going to kill this right before it even starts. Second way to defeat that little voice in the back of your head is ask some better questions. Open ended questions. And just one quick example for you is often we say, hey, what do you think instead of that? Because people, it’s too easy. Yeah, yeah, no, I agree. It sounds really good.
Scott McCarthy [00:11:37]:
Yeah. TPS report, new cover format. Brilliant idea. Let’s make sure John gets after it. Yep, I’m on board. Too easy. How about you ask what’s one thing I’m missing here? It’s one thing I’m missing here. Hmm.
Scott McCarthy [00:11:57]:
Well, John hates doing TPS reports because he believes they’re useless. Oh, really? He believes they’re useless? Why does John believe they’re useless? Well, he believes they’re useless because he thinks no one reads them. Oh, wow. He thinks no one reads them. Actually, I don’t read them. Do you read them? Nah, I don’t read it. I just send it off. Then who actually reads the TPS reports? No idea.
Scott McCarthy [00:12:29]:
You’re no doubt getting where I’m going with this fake conversation. And I’m literally swiveling my chair side to side of my microphone as I play two different roles here. But the moral story is this. Ask better questions, you get better, better results. You need to ask better questions. Use a third party, third step or third way, I should say, use a third party. You know, yes, there’s all kinds of coaches and consultants out there. You do 360 reviews, you can do peer level feedback, all kinds of different things.
Scott McCarthy [00:13:08]:
Or you can just have a trusted source, someone who you know will tell you exactly what it is that you need to hear, will tell you always the truth, no matter what. And use them. If they’re around. You often go off somewhere quiet and like, what do you think there? Is that the truth or they blowing smoke up my rear end? What are your thoughts? And then the final way to defeat this, when all else has failed, simply do your own gut check. Ask yourself, do I not believe them because of them or because of me? You don’t need to defeat that voice by ignoring it, but you can beat it by investigating. So, ladies and gentlemen, that voice that sits in the back of your head. Back of my head. Often, you know, are they telling me what I need to know or are they telling me what I they think I want to know or hear? However you want to word it, we need and we can tame it and then silence it, but it means training it.
Scott McCarthy [00:14:30]:
So get suspicious of your own suspicion. And that is, you know what next level of leadership. That’s next level of leading yourself. And frankly, you can’t lead with clarity if you don’t trust the mirror in front of you. You have to trust yourself, you have to trust your own intuition and you have to trust your team around you. Because as I say so many times, trust is the cornerstone of waiting. That is it for today’s episode. Thank you.
Scott McCarthy [00:15:06]:
As always, thanks for tuning in. Appreciate you all look out for the book. Hopefully Q1 of 2026 it’ll be out more to follow in the near future. Remember, as always, lead, don’t boss. Take care now. And that’s a wrap for this episode. Ladies and gentlemen. Thank you for listening.
Scott McCarthy [00:15:30]:
Thank you for supporting the Peak Performance Leadership podcast. But you know what you could do to truly support the podcast. And no, that’s not leaving a rating and review. It’s simply helping a friend. And that is helping a friend buy share, sharing this episode with them if you think this would resonate with them and help them elevate their performance level, whether that’s within themselves, their teens or their organization. So do that. Help me. Help a friend win.
Scott McCarthy [00:16:00]:
Win all around. And hey, you look like a great friend at the same time. So just hit that little share button on your app and then feel free to fire this episode to anyone that you feel would benefit from it. Finally, there’s always more. There’s always more lessons around being the highest performing leader that you can possibly be, whether that’s for yourself, your team, or your organization. So why don’t you subscribe? Subscribe to the show via movingforwardleadership.com subscribe until next time. Lead, don’t boss and thanks for coming out. Take care now.